On the morning of my last day at work in “ex-company”. The big boss summoned me to his office for his farewell speech…
Being the suave charmer that he is, he started by telling me all my good points… smart, intelligent, fast, efficient, analytic (sometimes more so than your superiors, pity we couldn’t keep you, wahahah) but he ended with … you just need to work on your self-presentation. i.e. my 1.52, 37-40 Kg frame and somewhat ill-fitting clothes, slightly hunched posture doesn’t make an impact on clients.
And he’s right. Usually, when you are small, young, female you tend to be relegated to the back seat. Psychologically, you feel small too! So while my boss is out presenting the reports that I’ve painstakingly put together, I’ve been dismissed as her mere ‘runner’.
I’m fine with that since i’m young. Can watch her present mah… then learn how to have ‘more presence’. But it rankles sometimes to know that you have something better inside just that you can’t present it? Geddit? And part of the reason for this: you look 18, small and school girlish.
Rather than blaming my small boss, who is very fair about such things, I’ve decided to work on my ‘presence’… and the easiest and more pleasurable way of doing this is: Changing my wardrobe! =) (great excuse huh? ya lah… now i can justify my shopping expenditure as good investments for my career progression).
Whenever I whine about not being about to find clothes of my size … people will go… “but my daughter is even slimmer than you, she can find clothes why can’t you?” etc.
It really makes me wanna slap them hard. Yah lah… you daughter is what… 17 years old… She needs to wear suits meh? All she wears are teeny bopper shit and Far East Plaza is full of those cute little thingys. You find me a size 1-2 suit in G2000 first lah… The last i checked, the smallest one they have is size 3 and costs a whopping $129 for just the blazer… sigh.
Or the nicer ones will try to cheer me up by saying “Good! Can go buy clothes from the kids’ section. Good and cheap.” In my mind i’ll be thinking: Yah lah… but kids’ pants all super straight cut type, makes my butt look funny. Some more, most of the kids clothes are pink… I mean… CANDY PINK… not even funky fuschia… how can I meet clients like that? At the very least i need a good jacket right? sigh…
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